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Jiu-Jitsu.net's Diami Virgilio writes: "So I'm at this party the other night. It's a pretty cool scene. A lot of intelligent people, a few attractive ones - and just enough booze to get me in the mood for conversation. As one of the more attractive party-goers was talking, I picked up that she was Brazilian. Naturally, being the ever-inquisitive BJJ journalist, I asked her if she knew of the Gracies and jiu-jitsu and what the perception of both was in Brazil. There was a moment of confusion at my lousy Portuguese, but eventually she realized what I was talking about:

'Yeah, that's them. Jiu-jitsu fighters.'

'Yes, I know them. I mean, I never met them, but I've heard of them.'

'Oh.'

'Yes, these jiu-jitsu guys, I remember, I would be at a party and they would come in - just like a whole big group of them. And they would just start fights with everyone and just destroy everything.'

'Oh...uhm -'

'Yeah, and they do the free-fighting where no rules goes and they can do whatever to each other.'

'Yeah, the vale tudo?'

'What?'

'Vale tudo.'

'Oh...well, it's the free fighting and it's very - no offense - but it's kind of like very homoerotic. You know? They wear these little Speedos and get all greased up. It's like...you know...it's just very like homoerotic.'

'Well, it's -' 'Yeah, but that's their thing. I don't really like it.' (Awkward shuffling on my part, then...) 'Uh, so is jiu-jitsu popular? Because they're always - people are always saying it is...' 'Uhm, not any more than pro wrestling, really.' 'I see...'

Needless to say, I walked away feeling just a trifle embarrassed. So it turns out all us grapplers are gay guys who rank slightly lower on the totem pole of importance than 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin...at least in the eyes of Ms. Brazil. Certainly not winning any points in our sex lives and probably not with law enforcement either. So here's a tip for anyone heading down to Rio to pick up beautiful women when Carnival rolls around: don't get smug and tell her you're a BJJer right off the bat. While you're standing there dumbfounded about why she's bowled over laughing at you, the unblemished young soccer players will have come in and snatched all the worthwhile samba partners.

But seriously, how many times, regardless of gender, have you been called gay for being a grappler? If you're a woman, it's thought of as too manly. If you're a guy, it's thought of as too intimate. Wrestlers get grief, but not a tenth of what we get (no guards). And what if you are gay and you're a grappler? If you ever came out, just think of how quickly your sparring partners would disappear. This is the most intimate sport out there. Wrestling is close, but there's enough escaping and shooting and slamming for practitioners to justify their 'manhood'. Jiu-jitsu is all about the ground.

Ninety-nine percent of the people I've tried unsuccessfully to get into grappling have refused because they thought it was too 'gay'. First of all, this is blatant homophobia. The idea that two men can't be in close contact without one of them having an erection is based on sheer ignorance and a refusal to acknowledge one's own insecurity regarding their sexuality.

Secondly, I find that, generally speaking, grapplers are among the most secure people you'll find when it comes to their sexuality. They take great care at being in tune with their bodies and knowing how to operate in close proximity with someone of the same sex without it having carnal undertones. As anyone who's rolled for any length of time knows, gettin' freaky is the dead last thing on your mind when you're on the mat, regardless of what team you're batting for.

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Is the reverse true when you're in the bedroom? Well as far as I'm concerned, that's really nobody's business but your own... The sad truth is that we'll never really be able to cast off this image. Not unless our society moves in leaps and bounds toward tolerance of people's differences and individual sexual security. A lot of people are afraid to be put in a ground situation because they're afraid they might like it too much (no joke, I've actually heard it said). And I suppose they might have a valid argument as I've always found it IMPOSSIBLE to teach girlfriends how to grapple.

Mike Sander's Big Bad Afterword:

While I kind of understand Mr. Virgilio's concerns, I just don't see the point in trying to argue against something so in-your-face obvious. Grappling practically seethes with homoerotic undercurrents - always has, always will.

In highschool wrestling teams, for example, the spontaneous eruption of massive boners among sportsmates during practice is not just accepted, but expected. Not that this sentiment is ever expressed out loud, of course. After all, it would be a blatant violation of trust for anyone to call attention to the 'unwanted' results of taking two sexually frustrated teenagers, placing them in skintight lycra singlets, and letting them grind up against each other, fighting for dominance with bridges and cradles and crotch lifts and grapevines until sweat pours off their hot, handsome, muscular bodies...

It is against this climate of tacit acquiescence that Mr. Virgilio voices his shock at discovering that vale tudo fighters - wearing even less, grinding even more - are often perceived as totems of the gay ideal. And what is that gay ideal? Simple: guys who aren't afraid to delve deep into each other's groin's, sometimes face first; guys whose hands roam restlessly over each other's hairless, greased up physiques, stroking a hard pec here, a stiff nipple there; guys who relish the opportunity to mount each other for minutes at a time in torrid simulations of same-sex intimacy. And he wonders why so many people think grappling is gay? Please! Wake up and smell the testosterone, Mr. V!

The fact of the matter is that, sometimes, the intense, relentless physical stimulation such activities generate proves impossible to resist, ultimately leading one or both parties to release all that stored up sexual tension, either right there on the mat, or later in the lockerroom. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Grappling - whether it be collegiate wrestling, vale tudo, sport BJJ or judo - isn't just something that lends itself to a perception of homoeroticism - it is fundamentally homoerotic, pure and simple.

But so what? Like Mr. Virgilio himself says, why get hung up about it if you're straight and confident about your sexuality?

Well? Answers on a postcard, please...

Web Links:

MatBattle.com Article: 'Anything Goes' - Juliana Protásio on the Sexual Side of Vale Tudo

MatBattle.com Article: BJJ - the New Gay Judo

Ask Aaron Query: 'Should I Come Out to My Team Mates?'

Buy 'Wolff's World' DVD (Source of Article Photos) at Can-Am.com (Opens in a separate window.)

www.jiu-jitsu.net (Opens in a separate window.)

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