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'Has My Passion for Judo Gone Too Far?'

I am writing to you from a small town in beautiful Hungary, because something has happened to me about which I am not sure what to do. I have always loved judo since I was a young man—I think it is the most beautiful, erotic, sensual, sexual, amazing sport in the world. I own nine judogis now and I have just ordered two more, so you can understand that this is a very big obsession for me.

I spend a lot of time masturbating to videos of judo men fighting each other, especially when they are on the ground with the jackets loose and the pants baggy, hugging each other very tight and breathing hard as they wrestle for the domination of the struggling opponent, wanting to see him humiliated and captured so that he cannot escape.

I go to judo practice almost every day for five years now—I am a brown belt and very, very good at ne-waza, especially the strangles. I love to hold a strong opponent in sankaku-jime and kata-ha-jime for long periods of time, feeling all of his panic and frustration as I slowly start to choke him; this makes me very hard, and sometimes I even come to orgasm while I am performing these techniques at my club. I also have bought mats for my apartment so that I can invite friends to practice with me in hard groundwork randori, and I believe that this is the best sex it is ever possible to have.

So what is the matter? Well, I have started to go out with a very nice boy in my area, but he does not share my passion for judo; I do not think he really even knows what judo is. I have tried to get him interested in this beautiful sport, but it has not been a very successful effort—his main sport is football, which is very popular here, as it is in many places. Many times I have wanted to bring him home and put him into one of my gis and then start to fight with him, taking him in many holds and strangles all night long until I have come with the extreme pleasure of it, and then to do the same for him. But as I say, he shows no interest in this.

The real difficulty has started when he asked me to come to his own home with him. I did this, and we talked for a while, and then we were kissing and touching each other. I held him very close to me as we lay on the couch, and I made believe in my mind that it was a judo mat and that he was my loving judo partner. But I am embarrassed to say that this did not have the desired effect, because my cock did not get hard and I found it impossible to become excited in this situation. When I noticed that this was not going to work, I made my apologies and left him. Then I went home and put on my favorrite judogi and—oh!—I cannot tell you how good it felt on my skin and how horny it made me feel, and so I lay on the bed and fantasized that my man was with me as I gave myself the pleasure.

This is not the first time that I have had this experience with boys who did not do judo, there have been others too, but I feel that this man is special to me and I like him very much.

I have seen this boy again one or two times, and I am still trying to make him come into the beautiful sport of judo with me, which is the greatest sport in all the world, but it is little luck that I am having. And because of this, our relationship is not progressing as it should; I cannot get hard when I am with him, even though I find him very attractive and would love to grapple with him in a judogi, the two of our bodies twisting and straining through the long erotic night on the mats.

So I have to come to a difficult conclusion: Should I not go out with this boy who is perfect in every other way any more, or should I try to give my love for judo away? Has my passion for judo gone too far? Even as I write this, I do not think that it can be possible, because judo is everything to me, nothing has ever given me more joy or delight or happiness extreme.

Please help me; I want this boy, but I also want my judo. Can I have both? Do you see a way for me to resolve this terrible difficulty? I am hanging onto your every word.
   


Aaron's Answer to Your Problem: Your Judo Fetish Has Turned Sour—It's Time to Go Cold Turkey

This doesn’t sound too good to me, mate; your love of judo seems to have gotten the better of you. Elsewhere on the site, we’ve got a test which helps you assess just strong your fetish level is, and my guess is that, on a scale of one to ten, you’d probably score a perfect hundred!

Don’t get me wrong—fetishes are not, in and of themselves, a bad thing. Everyone has them, and indulging them helps add spice and flavor to our sex lives—that’s why MatBattle exists in the first place, right? But a fetish can turn sour when it starts to become an obsession that cannot be abandoned, the only thing that gets you off, the sovereign ruler of your sexual world. If you can’t get aroused without wearing a judo suit and lying on a tatami, then it’s a sign that you have substantially altered your mental makeup—and in a pretty negative way.

This is going to be tough medicine to swallow but, if you really want to release yourself from the prison you’ve inadvertently built around your libido, you’re going to need to take a long hard look at your current sexual practices—and then dump them all. I know that this probably isn’t the kind of advice you want to hear, but there’s nothing else for it; only by completely turning your back on the unhealthy rapport you’ve developed with your fetish can you ever hope to return to something approaching a normal existence. So—how do you get started on the path to recovery?

My first suggestion is this: stop masturbating. Altogether. The reason you need to do this is that, every time you give yourself a climax whilst thinking about judo, you strengthen the already rock solid connection between your fetish and your body’s ability to enjoy sexual pleasure. What you need to do now is go completely cold turkey—the only time you can allow yourself to get carnal is with your new love interest. It’s a well known fact that abstinence is the most potent aphrodisiac on earth—this is how heterosexual men become ‘temporarily gay’ when sent to jail for long periods of time; the pressure simply grows unbearable, and so they release it any way they can. The second thing you’ve got to do is to take a break from your judo club, for precisely the same reasons.

Rolling around with other judoka will only inflame the fetishistic lust you’re trying to combat, and will make it virtually impossible for you to stop masturbating. And since you’ve already said that you often reach orgasm while on the ground, it’s just plain common sense to stay away from your club at all costs.

Number three on my self-help list for you is this: Remove all judo-related paraphernalia from your immediate environment. I’m not saying that you should burn all your gis and unravel all your videos, but you definitely need to box them up and put them away, far out of reach, maybe even in someone else’s house. If the gis are there, you’ll want to wear them; if the tapes are there, you’ll want to watch them.

And you just can’t, mate; you simply can’t.

Once again, remember why you’re doing this, focus on what you stand to gain. One day you’ll be able to bring judo back into the sex equation, but not right now, not while it’s your everything. By depriving yourself of the fetishistic act you crave, your brain will slowly reorient itself towards other, more acceptable targets—like your boyfriend. But by feeding the fetish, you will ultimately destroy any hope you might have had of enjoying healthy, stable, sexual relationships; you will be a slave to the thing that you were once master of. Worst of all, you’ll be permanently prohibited from enjoying the amazing pleasure that comes from the simple love between two guys, a love that needs nothing but soft skin and hot breath to keep it alive, a love that’s founded on natural desire, a love that lasts.

A love that you’ll surely find, if you only succeed in following the plan. Good luck, mate; let me know how things work out!

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